Teen Wolf: Ri-dickless Rumour

Teen Flasher?

It's time to file my first report on a cinematic crime in which a specific behaviour must be beaten up. I mean beaten up real good! Today's entry involves the urban legend concerning the movie, Teen Wolf. A lot of simpletons have been spreading this rumour like peanut butter on bread and its time I took the law into my own hands and crammed some facts down their virtual throats.

I think you'll find all you need to know in my report.


CRIME REPORT
 

• Crime: claiming an extra in Teen Wolf exposes his Peen Wolf in bleacher celebration scene 
• Offender(s): countless gullible morons on the world wide web 
• Enablers: Family Guy, KFAN FM 100.3 
• Punishment: a lifetime sentence of watching former U.S. Vice President Cheney's C-Span interview on a loop since they really want to see a dick

There are a lot of lemmings in this world. By that, I mean there are a lot of people who will take the word of a cartoon character as gospel and follow it over the edge of a cliff.  I'm referring to The Family Guy episode, Something, Something Darkside in which the Yoda character says "there was a guy in the end in the back of the stands with his dick out". This is in reference to a popular myth about the movie, Teen Wolf. Those who bask in ignorance love to point out that there's a male extra in one scene of the film where he exposes his penis. Some even say that he masturbates. None of it is true.



I've got news for Family Guy fanatics. IT'S A FICTIONAL TV SHOW! Not to mention a cartoon one at that. It's not meant to be taken at face value, sheeple. When the Yoda character utters that line, it's art imitating life. In other words, Family Guy is just mocking how these absurd rumours get started and spread around recklessly from one dolt to another.

You may be wondering how I know that this is a myth. Perhaps it's because a peen is nowhere to be seen. This might have to do with the fact that the movie extra in question is a girl, not a guy, so subtract one penis. Why are her pants unbuttoned and her zipper down? That I can't answer. What I can say is that the young blonde-haired woman seems to be caught off guard and quickly tries to zip up, realizing her white panties are visible but nothing more.

Here she is in another brief shot of the crowd in the lower left corner. Notice that she is the only one wearing a red sweater. She's not on screen very long so you might have to pause the video at 2:30.

Adding to the confusion is this audio interview of a man claiming to be Kris Hagerty, the movie extra in question who was caught with his pants down, so to speak. IMDb does list an actor by that name credited as Fan #2 in Teen Wolf. The problem with that is a woman named Kristina Hagerty claims that she is the one and only Kris Hagerty that appeared in the film. In fact, she goes so far as to demand a retraction from The Power Trip Morning Show by posting a comment at the bottom of the page. She writes, "I would like a retraction that it is NOT who he claimed he was" and mentions she can be contacted on her Facebook page. There is no reply to her comments so it appears her request was ignored. She even tries to set the record straight in reply to one commenter on a YouTube video titled Teen Wolf Exposure.

Listen to the impostor's interview, below.

Either the radio station's interviewers got catfished or they are trying to pull a hoax of their own.

Attempts to contact the station for a comment were made but did not receive a reply.

@chawk1003 Do you feel you got catfished by the guy claiming to be someone he's not in this interview?soundcloud.com/user5161934/kr… #hoax #TeenWolf
— MovieViewer-Man (@MovieVigilante) February 1, 2013

@powertripkfan Do you really believe this guy you interviewed was who he claimed to be? soundcloud.com/user5161934/kr… #TeenWolf #catfish #hoax
— MovieViewer-Man (@MovieVigilante) February 1, 2013

An attempt was also made to contact Kristina Hagerty to set up an e-mail interview but this request also did not receive a reply.

I hope this finally puts this ri-dickless rumour to rest. Oh, and quit using Family Guy as a news source. You only look dumber than Peter Griffin when you do so.

Let me know what you think of the rumour. Were you one of the gullible fools or did you know better? Leave a comment.

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