Teen Wolf: Ri-dickless Rumour

Teen Flasher?

It's time to file my first report on a cinematic crime in which a specific behaviour must be beaten up. I mean beaten up real good! Today's entry involves the urban legend concerning the movie, Teen Wolf. A lot of simpletons have been spreading this rumour like peanut butter on bread and its time I took the law into my own hands and crammed some facts down their virtual throats.

I think you'll find all you need to know in my report.


CRIME REPORT
 

• Crime: claiming an extra in Teen Wolf exposes his Peen Wolf in bleacher celebration scene 
• Offender(s): countless gullible morons on the world wide web 
• Enablers: Family Guy, KFAN FM 100.3 
• Punishment: a lifetime sentence of watching former U.S. Vice President Cheney's C-Span interview on a loop since they really want to see a dick

There are a lot of lemmings in this world. By that, I mean there are a lot of people who will take the word of a cartoon character as gospel and follow it over the edge of a cliff.  I'm referring to The Family Guy episode, Something, Something Darkside in which the Yoda character says "there was a guy in the end in the back of the stands with his dick out". This is in reference to a popular myth about the movie, Teen Wolf. Those who bask in ignorance love to point out that there's a male extra in one scene of the film where he exposes his penis. Some even say that he masturbates. None of it is true.



I've got news for Family Guy fanatics. IT'S A FICTIONAL TV SHOW! Not to mention a cartoon one at that. It's not meant to be taken at face value, sheeple. When the Yoda character utters that line, it's art imitating life. In other words, Family Guy is just mocking how these absurd rumours get started and spread around recklessly from one dolt to another.

You may be wondering how I know that this is a myth. Perhaps it's because a peen is nowhere to be seen. This might have to do with the fact that the movie extra in question is a girl, not a guy, so subtract one penis. Why are her pants unbuttoned and her zipper down? That I can't answer. What I can say is that the young blonde-haired woman seems to be caught off guard and quickly tries to zip up, realizing her white panties are visible but nothing more.